Thursday, March 25, 2010

Make today the beginning of your tomorrow



Today I am taking control! I am being the best me that I can be and living my life the best I know how. I am no longer waiting for something better to come my way as I have taken control of the reigns and I'm leading this expedition toward self awakening! You too can get to this point in your life -- you just have to want it bad enough and work for it. You can't get anywhere sitting back and taking handouts and expecting that it will just happen. Granted, life does "just happen" when you're sitting around watching your TIVOed programs. However, is that truly the life you want to live? A vapid existence of self disillusionment filled with re-runs of the Orange County Housewives and the latest version of American Idol? I can call you out and judge you because I was once where you are. I did what you are doing now and trust me it is no life that I will ever go back to. To wake up, go to work, come home and veg out on the sofa and then go to bed just to do it all over again the next day. The endless drinking and smoking and and staying out late partying with people who I have no idea even know me or to that fact even like me. I was among the nameless masses of drones walking this earth with no real purpose or idea of what I wanted to do with my life. It seems like a lot to think about, but it's really a lot easier than you think and sometimes it's as simple as having someone say, "Hey, would you like to hang out today?" Do something different today... Do one thing different than you would normally do with your day... Just one small change. It can be as little as not taking that second helping of tuna salad for lunch or picking up a piece of trash and throwing it away. Deciding to walk the 10 minutes to the office rather than driving or introducing yourself to someone new and maybe going for an afternoon walk around the office with a buddy. Little things... These little things add up my friends and soon they become apart of your life and who you are. They build upon each other and you start incorporating all these things into your life and they change you -- they make you a better person. One thing that I made a conscious effort to change was my lack of recycling. It's sooo important to recycle and to keep our world clean and growing so that our children don't have to clean up after our messes. I no longer wanted to be apart of the problem, rather part of the solution and the group of people who work for change. The little thing I took up was having a recycling bin right off my back door where I keep the garbage. I keep a pile of recyclables and then dump them daily into the bin I designated just for them. So I challenge you today... EDUCATE YOURSELVES!!! Find out what little thing you want to do and then learn about what that so called "little" thing is and own it. Learn about the effects your actions will have on others and in the larger scheme of things, the world. Alone we can only do so much, but together we can all achieve great things! If you'd like to learn more about recycling, your carbon footprint and other environmental news, please visit: BEF and Earth 911. I hope that some of what I have shared with you today has touched you, inspired you and opened your heart and minds to want to make a change. Visit again soon!! More updates to follow...

Posted by Dani at 12:22 PM 0 comments  

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

melancholy...

I'm all out of sorts today... For one reason or another I just don't feel like myself. There is something missing and joy seems to be gone. Is this rational? Is this normal? Should my emotions always be in such flux that I never know what to expect upon waking? I was okay this morning and actually had a great wake up dance session in the shower listening to Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros on Pandora... Great station by the way... Then it all kinda pooped on me. I don't look for the shit, it just happens to be in my direct path. And this isn't the oh woe as me posting... Just a vent session. I know we've all be there so this is just the day it rains on me. I didn't go the the gym this morning and it was wonderful to just sleep... SLEEP! I have forgotten what it feels like to have a full night's rest. I'm still sore from a hard workout yesterday... running to the gym and then working out and then working all day. I went to my parent's house last night and had dinner and finished my taxes. It was a nice evening to just hang out and shoot the shit with my folks. I miss them. I even played Farmville with my mother... lol... it's her account and I just farmed her land and harvested her fruit for her. I'm still not joining the Farmville cult, but it was nice to spend that time with my mom. So taxes are done, bills are getting paid and I'm pretty much on top of things for now. Just battling with this uneasy and unsettling feeling that I have right now. I can't figure it out and I really hope it goes away soon. I think it's just plain old not knowing and not feeling secure with life right now. It's the feeling I get everyday as I walk around the office and head down the hallway to return to my desk. I look out the windows ahead of me and imagine the earth stopping and everything is ripped from the ground and is hurled up towards the infinite void of space. I don't know what's going to happen and I don't know what the future holds, but I really hope I figure out what I want soon so this feeling dissipates.

To be uncertain is to be uncomfortable, but to be certain is to be ridiculous. ~ Chinese Proverb

Posted by Dani at 10:37 AM 0 comments  

Monday, March 22, 2010

Deep thoughts for a Monday

I feel like a motivational poster most days. You know, the ones you see on the walls of office buildings or hanging above your manager's desk. Like they really believe or follow the message those posters carry and we'll use the one right above me as an example... TEAMWORK: Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. The ability to direct individual accomplishment toward organizational objectives. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results. Riiiiiiiiiiight... Who's foolin who here?? Because I'm not buying it. If this was the true belief of those higher up than me then my concept of teamwork and theirs is totally on separate ends of the spectrum here. What common vision? If that is a "means to and end" then yes. I share your vision... But the idea of me sitting here for 40+ hours a week providing the grunt work of your fine organization to thrive and mass produce machinery from which I reap no benefit then so be it. But you are merely a means to an end for me to survive in this world where money is king. Not like I'm harboring any resentment or hard feelings towards this day in and day out routine I have myself in... NO. Not at all! But seriously, I'm off my point as usual.No, really I feel like a motivational poster when I'm living my true life, my reality outside of the office. I preach words like determination, perseverance, strength, willpower and fortitude. I often quote great thinkers, philosophers and influential leaders of our time in order to bring forth thought and reflection for those around me about their own lives.

“Life is not a continuum of pleasant choices, but of inevitable problems that call for strength,determination, and hard work” ~ Indian Proverb
No one said that life was going to be easy. There was not a handbook given to each of us upon birth with a new chapter for each phase in life. Rather, we are given the tools by our parents and we build the stepping stones of life each day. It is up to each one of us to make good choices and to live each day to the fullest. I am no longer a person of regret or self doubt as I choose to be stronger and I have the fortitude to preserve in the face of adversity. Each day brings forth new struggles and with each difficulty comes the choice of how to face them head on. As you cannot turn and walk the opposite direction, rather you must confront your challenges and work through them.

Yesterday I challenged myself. I was running on little sleep and it was a long run day. I had the choice... I could sit at home and do nothing or I could tackle this run head on. I chose to run through the feeling of laziness and ended up smashing 15 miles on what turned out to be the most beautiful day in the country. We started from home and ran to the gym for a long stretch and gathered supplies at the sporting goods store. Then we continued onto Willow Springs road which is quite the runners challenge. It's a back road up to Chesbro Reservoir which is quite steep.... I'll admit, I did have to walk up a bit of this road, but I kept my head up and mind set that I was going to complete this run. The sun was warm and the cherry blossoms were falling on the road as we ran from the afternoon Spring breeze. Half way up the hill I told the boys to run on and I popped in my headphones for a burst of motivation from my upbeat base thumpin music. Just as I did, I see what appears to me a peacock up in the middle of the road. I run faster and find that it's a wild turkey and not one but two. I remember as I passed them that I was sublimely happy and a grin fell onto my lips with the ease of turning on a light switch. It was a beautiful day and filled with amazing sights... All of this would have been missed if I had decided to sit at home... alone and do nothing. I challenged myself yesterday and I hope that each and everyone picks the road less traveled and applies strength and willpower to their day.

“Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.” ~ Mary Anne Radmacher

Posted by Dani at 9:54 AM 0 comments  

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Friday, March 19, 2010

Leo's Horoscope 3/19/10



Dani: Your head may be spinning because there is simply too much input. Information overload can be stressful even when the news is mostly positive. Make sure to take frequent rest breaks today, especially if you are spending a lot of time at home with active family members.

Active??!! That's an understatement! I think this is the most active I have been ever... in all my 28 years. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining in the least, but sometimes horoscopes speak to what is happening right now in my life. I need a rest break... Today, I'm headed to my best gal's house to attend her first Yoga class after she graduated from Yoga Teacher Training. I am so proud of her and I'm very excited to be attending her class. This is just the break I need from all my training. You see, I have been in training for the last 8 months! For what you ask?? For marathons!! Here's a little back story of my life. When I was younger, and when I say younger I'm talking elementary school/Jr high, I was not in the best shape of my life. I was a chubbster and I told myself that when I entered high school I would be fit and active. That's what I did... I dedicated my summer to getting off my butt and getting outside and becoming active. I started running and I loved it. I was addicted and every morning I would wake up go running and then after school I'd grab my dog and take off again. I don't think I'd make it home till way past dark and it was my time. Just me, my fluffy pup Nicki and the open trails. I remember loving that time in my life because I used it to do a lot of self reflection and thinking about anything and everything. It was a time in my life when I knew who I was and where I was going. Then, something changed and I'm not sure what... I can't pinpoint the catalyst that brought forth another change... I think it might have been the development of a social life and the types of things that living in a small town breeds. Teenage angst and the desire to fit in and rebel against our parents. My parents were not like most because they are overly trusting and respect me which doesn't happen for most kids. They never came down on me about school or the choices I was making because they knew that I was my own worst enemy. I would punish myself for failing... But then when this change came forth, then none of that seemed to matter anymore and I was just going with the flow and kind of floating in this perpetual state of limbo. I didn't care about working out and I didn't care about running the back trails of Christmas Hill. Running in the Spring afternoons stomping down mustard greens for forge my own trails in the back hills where no one seemed to venture. I didn't care anymore about knowing who I was and I just wanted to be someone else. I guess it's like my horoscope said, you need to take breaks in life and maybe this was just a break that I was taking from everything that I knew just to learn new things. To find out who out there was like me and who wasn't and what my likes and dislikes really were. So I lost track of what I wanted and where I was going but it's only normal with being so young. I finally broke out of that adolescent stage of pushing the envelope and moved away from all I knew to start another huge change in my life of college and working and living alone.

~ Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom. ~ Aristotle
I know what I want and I know where I'm going. I ran two miles that day and part of it was dragging my feet, but I did it and I have been running ever since. I completed my first marathon on February 7,2010 in Huntington Beach. We are registered for our second marathon set for July 25, 2010 just 6 days before my 29th birthday. I'm active and healthy and looking beyond instant gratification, rather I am working for what I want. I no longer sit in front of the TV for hours after my work day and think about all the things I should be doing. I'm out and about and happier than ever. Each day brings new pleasures and exciting adventures. I'm excited to see what tomorrow's horoscope will read...

Posted by Dani at 9:52 AM 0 comments  

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Procrastination

I have been sitting here deciding what new template I want to use for this blog rather than actually writing down what's on my mind. Procrastination... The title of today's rant... This seems to be the theme of most in their daily lives and has been part of mine as of late. I have been putting off what needs to happen and what I should be doing. Instead, I have been living the same life as it is what is most comfortable for me and it's what I know. It's the easy route. I need to take the road less traveled and I want to break out of the chains I entangled myself with that keep me grounded to this place. In speaking with my boyfriend today I realized that I am the only one who can seize this moment and make change for myself. I cannot wait for others to make it happen for me and I cannot continue to talk about all the things I want to do with my life. Life cannot be planned, as the saying goes, "Life is what happens when you're busy making plans". You're alive so go out and do something!! My motto has always been that you only get one shot at life so you better live it to the fullest and make the most out of every day you are blessed to have. I lost sight of this for quite some time. I got caught up in the partying, drinking and socializing. It got me nowhere and brought nothing enriching to my life. Alright, so maybe it was fun at the time, but in the long run it proved to get me overweight, alone and deeper into debt from overspending on going out. Today I am at a point in my life where I can honestly say that I am happy. I am truly blessed to have the people that I have in my life right now. They surround me with positive energy and give me the support I need to continue believing that I can live each day to the fullest.

"Every worthwhile accomplishment, big or little, has its stages of drudgery and triumph; a beginning, a struggle and a victory." Ghandi
Alright, I'm putting myself on the hook here people so let it be known that I am going to make some changes in my life.... and I have already begun. I want to no longer be apart of the masses and live in this false reality of what could be or what might happen. I'm going to write in this journal and to keep myself honest. More to come... Like Bob Dylan said... I feel a change comin' on!... and I like it!

Posted by Dani at 2:02 PM 0 comments  

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